LOV Team: Living Our Values in Right Relationship
Creating a beloved community requires intention and practice. Our covenants articulate our intentions. These intentions inform the practice of faithful communication and generative conflict based on shared values of mutuality and consent. The purpose of the lay-staffed “Living Our Values” Team (LOV) is to serve as partners to the congregation and congregants in building, maintaining, and repairing congregational relationships and ensuring we are living in alignment with the UU Lansing Covenant and covenantal relationships in general.
Living Our Values Team
The LOV Team is a group of UU Lansing members dedicated to fostering a welcoming and inclusive community where everyone feels valued and respected. The Team engages in its work of supporting covenant-based relations, or “right relations” through three modalities:
● Supporting covenant-based relationship in the absence of harm or conflict, through proactive, skills building activities such as workshops, seminars, and discussion circles, among other possibilities;
● Addressing potential or actual harm in the moment, as proactive bystanders, reminding those involved of our covenant and commitment to mutual care.
● Serving as facilitators and guides after harm has been caused by assisting the parties involved to engage in conversation, mutual healing, and recommitment to covenant.
The LOV team participated in a robust Right Relationships Team Training program to prepare us in supporting you through open and honest communication, compassionate listening, and healing harm caused by breaches of our covenant.
Are you experiencing a conflict or challenge within our congregation? Do you need a space to be heard, seen, and supported while repairing a relationship with a fellow congregant? Are you ready for conversations to help you get back to feeling connected and engaged in our UU community?
We Are Here For You!
How Can the LOV Team Help You?
The LOV Team can provide:
● Support and Guidance: We can offer a listening ear and provide practical guidance on how to navigate difficult situations within our congregation, guided by our covenant.
● Creative Conflict Facilitation: In some cases, we can facilitate difficult conversations between individuals or groups to help achieve reconnection, resolution, and reconciliation.
● Education and Training: We offer periodic training on topics like healthy communication, conflict resolution, and building strong relationships in alignment with our covenant.
We are here to support you in deepening your connection to our congregation.
LOV Team Promises
We promise to be mindful of our UU Lansing Covenant, the Seven Principles, and the Core UU Values in our work on the LOV team and in our interactions throughout the church community. Relationships are complex, conflicts are stressful, vulnerability is hard. So when you reach out to us, here are our promises to you:
● Fairness and Impartiality: The team will remain fair and impartial in all matters, avoiding favoritism or bias.
● Relationship-Centered Approach: The team is committed to fostering healthy relationships and resolving conflicts respectfully.
● Confidentiality: The team will maintain confidentiality in its internal deliberations and processes.
● Transparency: The team will be transparent about its work and share non-confidential information with the congregation.
● Collaboration: The team will collaborate with the Senior Minister, staff, and other congregational leaders.
● Accept Feedback: The congregation can provide feedback to the LOV Team or the Senior Minister.
We also promise to know our limits and stay within the scope of tending covenant and nurturing member relationships. We will engage in listening and helping you find a path forward; however, we will not attempt to directly solve the problem about which you are seeking assistance, nor will we offer formal “restorative justice” processes.
For more information on what a LOV team consultation can offer you, please see the OPERATIONAL POLICY on Living Our Values Team (LOV) and Process for Feedback on Congregational Relationships and Congregational Operations document.
We are ready and waiting to connect with you.
How to contact the LOV Team
If you would like to speak with a member(s) of the LOV Team or submit a question, please fill out this confidential form or send an email directly to lovteam@uulansing.org.
Meet Our LOV Team
Jann Nestell
I’ve attended UU Lansing since 2016 and joined, signing our Covenant, in 2017. It has been important to me, especially in recent years, to become a better listener, to really see and hear people wherever they are on their life journey; to know that while conflict is a fact of life, we can resolve most issues through being present, listening and love.
Mary Elaine Kiener
As a young adult, I had drifted away from the dogma of my childhood (Roman Catholic) faith, in search of a deeper, more open-hearted understanding of life's mysteries. Fifty years later, the covenantal foundations of my UU faith increasingly play an integral role in how I choose to show up in the world. I bring a commitment of full-hearted, spacious listening as a member of the LOV team.
Patty Degnan
I was a public servant in human services. I joined the UUCGL church more than thirty years ago when my children were young. In retirement I find fulfillment in volunteer work, being physically active, and maintaining close ties with friends and family. My experience in community circles and other church groups has given me an appreciation for deep listening and right relationships between people.
Tim Goth-Owens
I joined UU Lansing in 2002, 35 years after rejecting the dogma and hypocrisy of my Roman Catholic upbringing. The covenantal nature of this community has always been key to my appreciation of our congregation. I know conflict occurs in any organization: I see the Living our Values team as a way to serve a core mission of our church by bringing careful and non-judgmental listening and support to those who have felt hurt by events experienced as a participant in the life of the UU Lansing community.